By: Katherine Podolak
Young Adult Division (YAD) Manager)
I was recently watching the season finale of my favorite television show, Survivor, where a group of strangers are marooned on an island and tasked to simultaneously create a community that represents a microcosm of society while also voting each other out in pursuit of becoming the “Sole Survivor.” Contestants must be able to vote their fellow tribemates out in a way where in the end, those voted out who sit on the jury will in turn vote for one of the remaining players to win.
Why am I talking about a reality television show in a Shabbat message?
A notion that constantly comes up in the show is the idea that “perception is reality,” meaning it doesn’t matter how someone played the game, but how the jury perceives how they played the game. This theme arises in this week’s Torah portion, Vayishlach (Genesis 32-36), where we see Jacob being confronted with his previous action of “stealing” the birthright from his brother Esau.
Jacob, learning from messengers that Esau is coming to meet him, along with 400+ men, begins to panic and devises a plan to alter his brother’s perception of him. He gathers livestock and tells his servants to essentially schmooze Esau as he gets closer and closer to Jacob: “He [Jacob] instructed the one in front as follows, ‘When my brother Esau meets you and asks you, ‘Who’s your master? Where are you going? And whose [animals] are these ahead of you?’ you shall answer, ‘Your servant Jacob’s; they are a gift sent to my lord Esau, and [Jacob] himself is right behind us…For he reasoned ‘If I propitiate him with presents in advance, and then face him, perhaps he will show me favor,’” (Genesis 32:18-21).
Despite Jacob’s anxiety, when Esau finally arrives, he surprisingly embraces Jacob with compassion and love, forgiving him for his prior actions. The question then becomes: why did Esau end up forgiving Jacob fairly easily? Was it because enough time had passed? Was it because the severity of the indiscretion felt less intense? Or did the numerous gifts Jacob had given to him change Esau’s perception of reality?
As humans, we often find ourselves confronted with the fact that what we believe is reality may not be what is happening in actuality. Our “reality” is dependent on our own perceptions of the world, as well as others’ perceptions of us. I believe that now more than ever, with social media and AI becoming ever more present in our day-to-day lives, we are constantly being challenged to figure out what the truth really is. People are being judged based on how others perceive them, not how they perceive themselves. Sometimes, those views align, and sometimes, they differ drastically.
I watch Survivor because it is a social experiment where contestants are constantly being challenged to figure out what the truth is. Who is being honest about their plans and feelings and who is not; who is a threat to win, and who is not? It gives a firsthand perspective of the challenges we face as we navigate the world through our own lenses and how our beliefs and actions are dictated by that lens. Jacob believed that Esau’s perception of him was less than favorable, so he showered his brother with gifts in the hopes of changing that reality, and it worked.
Like in Survivor, our perceptions are our realities, but sometimes we may need to look just below the surface or through a different lens to see what the “truth” really is.
Please email Katherine Podolak at kpodolak@jewishcolorado.org with questions or comments.