By: Katherine Podolak
Young Adult Division (YAD) Manager
This week’s Parsha, Pinchas (Numbers 25:10-30:1), starts with God rewarding Pinchas, the grandson of Aaron and great-nephew of Moses, with “covenants of Peace and everlasting priesthood.” Following this, God tells Moses to take a census to determine how inheritance should be divided among the remaining Jews traveling to Israel. Though originally, inheritance would only be granted to sons, the five daughters of Zelophehad protested to God and demanded to be given the same inheritance that they would’ve received had they been sons rather than daughters. This bravery led to the inheritance distribution line to include daughters, if no sons were born, creating strong leaps for what can now be considered “women’s rights.”
While this lesson in the parsha is incredibly valuable and interesting, there was another section that caught my attention. God speaks to Moses, telling him that he must find another leader to guide the Jewish people in the final stretch of the journey into the land of Israel: “Go to the Mountain of Abarim (Transitions) and look at the land that I have given to the sons of Israel. And when you have seen it, you too shall be gathered to your people as your brother Aaron was gathered. For you acted against My words in the wilderness of Tzin.”
Moses replies, “Let God appoint a man over the community who will lead them so that the community of God should not be like sheep who have no shepherd.”
What stands out to me, and resonates in my own life, is the humility and grace that Moses seems to hold when being told he would not be the one to lead the Jewish people into the land of Israel. After Moses had led the Jews for almost 40 years, he was asked to step down because of his failure to obey and trust in God. Moses, however, did not look at this as a failure, but rather as an opportunity for someone else to step up and grow. He found solace and comfort knowing that in death, like his brother Aaron, he would be embraced by those who he had loved and loved him.
I am the kind of person who struggles with failure. Having been labeled a perfectionist for most of my life, I find it to be incredibly challenging when I am not able to achieve something in the way and time I had set out to. This sentiment is something I hold not only in work, but in my personal life as well. After having gone through a very challenging past year, I have swayed back and forth between looking at the struggle as a failure versus an opportunity.
While I once believed that life was linear, I have come to learn that life is a series of twists, turns, roundabouts, and dead ends. We do not know where life will take us, and with each pivot from what we thought it would or should look like, comes opportunity—not failure. I’d like to be able to look at my “failures” in the way that Moses did, with an acceptance of what is and was and an opportunity to take the path less traveled. Accepting that I thought I knew the plan God had laid out for me and rather embracing that I am on a different path—the path for me. Sometimes we make mistakes, sometimes we fail, but with the struggle comes beauty.
Shabbat Shalom.
Please email Katherine Podolak at kpodolak@jewishcolorado.org with questions or comments.